I Feel Different

     I know, we're all supposed to be different people with different ambitions, thoughts, ideas, and everything, but sometimes I feel so different that it's almost as if I'm not even a person at all. 
     I've always been an independent person. Not just generally, but with my thoughts as well. I like being independent. I like being me. I like it a lot, but the worst part is everyone isn't independent. 
     It seems like everybody's dependent on something or someone. Lately, I've seen people dependent on cultures, society, unreliable people, the ideas of their parents, the pressure of their peers...it's kind of sick. We depend on all of these things and people, but we don't stop for a moment and think that maybe, just maybe, we're letting the most unimportant and shallow things run our lives. It's just heartbreaking.
      The worst part is that we do it without even realizing it. We sit here and we depend on things that shouldn't matter.
       The most obviously example is girls who are literally perfect, but they sit there and they diet, and they exercise, and they essentially are killing themselves. It's sick. They sit there and they rely on what society says. I think it's important to stay healthy, but you don't stay healthy by starving yourself. How can something so simple be so freaking hard to get across to people?
       I think that the key to real individualism is being independent. I feel like I'm an outsider looking in because everyone around me seems to be so ridiculously dependent on something or someone. We're all our own people, we can be who we want, and we can make our own decisions. It's like the question my mom recently posed,"How many rebellious teens are really just independent? Think about it."
     ...
     If we should depend on anyone, let us depend on God. 


     It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man. --Psalm 118:8
    

Random Update

     This is one of those posts that is just a bit of an update, I mean, I don't see it following any pattern
    
  I've been ridiculously busy...as always. In fact, I seem to be busier now than I was during the summer. Now I have school, (soon) choir, work, and soon I'm starting another job, and then there's other things that are bound to be added to my schedule. I'm practically craving winter about now. I enjoy being busy, but I don't want the things I do to run my life.
    
  First, if you want to read something that made my week, you should probably read this article about courtship and why it's flawed. Honestly, reading that was like reading my own thoughts. Somebody finally put it into words!
    
  Also, I watched the season premiere of Doctor Who, and it was awesome! I love the new doctor, I love it all! So, yea.
     
   My best friend, and I auditioned for a local honors choir. (Ha! Bet you didn't know I like sing--wait, yea, you did...nevermind)I hate being the center of attention, so singing a solo for just one person drew out my nerves. All went well though, at least it must have because both my bestie and I got in! Practice starts next month, so there's that. I'm super excited about singing in a choir again!
     
   This other job I'm starting is watching kids a few times a month, that'll be a nice break from the golf course.
      
   Oh, right, the golf course, it's being sold at the end of this season, and there are no promises that it'll remain a golf course, so that's sad. I mean, I'm really going to miss it...and I don't even golf.
     
  Also, all of my college age friends are gone for the year...well, most of them. It's going to be so weird going into work on Monday because my brother and I are the only people on the morning crew now. In fact, it's just us and one other guy on the grounds crew now. Weird, and scary.
      
   I was/am sick with a cold which doesn't make things very fun at all, to be honest. It started on Tuesday, I think, and on Thursday I worked and everything, I felt like I was getting better...then I woke up Friday morning and my cold was all, "Haha, nope, I'm just getting worse!" I feel better today though, so that's nice.
     
   I feel like I'm being such a pessimist which is not like me at all! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!
     
   I have a goal to build up what I like to call a skyscraper of courage. Courage is something I believe I need a little more of, so yea, I've decided to build a metaphorical skyscraper out of courage. BAM! Bet you didn't see that comin--actually, you probably did...

   Oh, I did the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge! It was quite chilling...
   
   Well, that's all, folks! Have a wonderful week!

    
    

Truly Know You

       I figured out. I figured out why people are so concerned about what other people think about us. It's because we don't truly know ourselves. We honestly count on other people to know us better than we know ourselves. This delves into what I've been talking about since I first started this blog! I've written about the unimportance of physical beauty, the importance of accepting your worth, the importance of being original in your own way, and I've talked about evaluating ourselves honestly...I think they've all been leading up to this post.

        The opinion of others doesn't matter when you truly know yourself. 
      We subconsciously pay attention to what other people think about us because we want to know who we are in their eyes...so we can worry about all of the faults they see. That's not how it's supposed to work.
       If you truly know who you are, then what does the opinion of others mean? What other people think of you doesn't say things about you, instead, it speaks volumes about them. We can't go about living to please other people, that's not how it works. 
       I came to such a conclusion because I seem to care less about what others think of me and what society says than other people do. I am passionate about being myself which is something everyone tries to do, but I believe that too many of them care what other people think. (I'm not trying to say I'm perfect here, I just seem to be on the outside looking into something that I can't quite grasp...if that makes sense?)
      I don't know a lot of people who are genuinely, 100 % comfortable in their own skin by just being who they are. It almost makes you wonder if people like that even exist, you know? (Think of Jennifer Lawrence, that girl don't care if the haters hate!) We all need to just be who we are by knowing who we are. We need to be open-minded, independent people and independent thinkers...I believe that's how people come to know who they really are, by opening their eyes.
  
     Sorry if this doesn't make a whole lot of sense, my thoughts are usually a jumble of nonsense that only makes sense to me...so...
     Also, this isn't very long...sorry. =)

My Future Plans Rant

     When I was little, all I ever dreamed of being was a singer. Really, it's a strange dream for someone who dislikes being the center of attention...but, alas, it twas my dream.
      Now, as life has moved on, I have my plans for the future somewhat mapped out. I'm going to be a cosmetologist, at least, that's the plan. Some people have asked me why I want to go into cosmetology, and I clumsily answer about how it just sort of happened. Somehow, when I answer, I always make it sound like I don't really want to do it, and it's just a career. At the core, maybe that's how I feel, but cosmetology genuinely interests me. Not only because it's definitely something I will surely be good at, but it's a great career field to be in, and the prospect excites me. 
     When I tell people that I'm going to be a cosmetologist, I think they half-expect me to go on a rant about how I love make-up, and painting nails, and cutting hair, and oh, I've always been such a girly-girl...but all they get is my ridiculous speech about how it's a career field that I believe I can excel in, blah, blah, blah.
      As far as academics go, things just sort of happen for me. It just sort of happened that I did Alegbra I in 8th grade, it just sort of happened that that is what led to my finishing high school in just 3 years, it just so happened that cosmetology seems interesting to me.
      I am not a girly-girl in any sense (as you probably gathered from earlier posts), so I suppose that it's kind of odd that I'm choosing a career that seems so unlike me. Yea, I wear make-up, yea, I paint my nails...I've never had my hair cut in a professional style though, so there's still that. On the other hand, I hardly ever wear make-up, and when I do, it's as little as possible, I paint my nails one in a awhile, and my hair...my mom trims the ends for me once in awhile. That's it. That's how girly I am. Now, I like the way I am, I like what I do, where I live, even what I look like (whoa, shocker, I know!), and it's going to stay that way.
      I'm becoming a cosmetologist because it interests me, and if I don't pick some career to go into now, I will drive myself crazy. There, the real reason comes out. I am a person who is all about doing what's best with my time in the long run. I look toward the future often--something I should probably stop doing so much--, and if I don't have a plan for what's ahead, I'll just drive myself insane. It isn't like I have to know what I'm doing in the future, I think it's more that I have to know that I'm not going to waste my time...which is weird because I'm a very spontaneous person, soooo....?
      Well, wasn't this a lovely rant about a bunch of nonsense?

Introvert Misconception

     I consider myself to be an introvert. At the end of the day, I just want to go up to my room and be by myself. It's hard for me to be around a lot of people all day. Like, honestly, I kind of just get really tired of people.
     Now, to clear things up. I love people. I see new people everyday, and I love them. I always smile as much as I possibly can. People are awesome, and they deserve to know it!

     Introverts, as far as I'm concerned, don't hate people, they just don't necessarily enjoy being surrounded by a lot of people. Personally, I feel that people invade the privacy of my mind. When I'm thinking, I always feel like the people around me can read my thoughts. I prefer to be alone while thinking. I can't really think while there is even one person in the same room. Obviously, I can function, but one of the luxuries of being who I am is that I just flat out enjoy thinking about everything. It's really a sort of entertainment for me. I literally could just think all day, you know?

     I love people(as I've previously stated). I always wonder to myself about who people are, what they think about, how they think, their story...because, after all, everybody is somebody, right? People, in fact, fascinate me. Everybody walks this earth with a different walk, and that just enthralls me. I believe that kind-hearted people understand this idea most of all because they take the time to know and love people who may not deserve to be known and loved. (I am, in no way trying to state that I am kind-hearted...because honestly, I don't know if I am or not.)

    Yes, perhaps I enjoy the company of those closest to me over the company of say...a co-worker, but don't we all? Maybe not. I don't know.


   Wow, this isn't very long at all...sorry. :)