Wednesday's Ray: Hard Work & Lessons

   It's weird how such simple things can help you understand the lessons you've been taught in life. As you may know, I started my first job--as in first ever in all of time and space--at a golf course. It's hard work. I do mostly outside things, so, you know, that's me trimming trees, or filling in the divots with sand at the tees, or picking range, or doing some other thing that doesn't pertain to you because you have no idea what half of these things mean. 
   I have found that every time I am trained on how to do something, then I'm left to do it by myself...I freak out. 
   Oh my gosh, am I doing this right? 
   Oh my gosh, I'm so going to get fired! 
   Oh my gosh, I cannot believe my boss trusts me to do this alone! 
   Then--I kid you not--when my boss comes to see how I'm doing...he says that I'm doing great. 
Cue the not-so-quiet sigh of relief.

A nice reminder

   When I'm determined to get something done, I try to work extra hard, and do the work as fast as I possibly can. I guess I just want to get the job done, and not just in good time, I also want to do the job right. 
No matter how many times I'm trained on something new, I go out and do it, and I still doubt that I'm doing it right. That's my problem, but it's a bit of a gift as well.
   Yes, I do doubt myself, and, yes, I should really work on that. On the other hand, when I doubt myself, I end up doing my work ever so much better. I don't think it's so much doubt as it is the fear of getting in trouble. Oh my goodness, of all the people on the planet, I'm probably in the top ten when it comes to the fear of getting in trouble. The idea of not getting in trouble is what motivates me in life.  I want to please the people in charge, I want them to be satisfied with my work. I don't want them to praise me endlessly, I just want to know that I did the job right. As long as they're happy, I'm happy.
    I have relearned so many simple lessons just by having this job. I have relearned that confidence in what you do is important, but that you shouldn't become too confident. I have relearned that hard work is the best work. I have relearned that making mistakes is okay, and that you really do learn from them. Most of all though, I have learned something new altogether, I have learned that sometimes our weaknesses are not weaknesses at all. They are strengths.
   So, yea, that's what's new in my life, what's new in yours?